UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: The exploration of us.

Caveat: Before starting this blog article I need to carefully inform my readers about my background and expertise regarding this topic. It is very Limited in comparison to medical and psychology professionals who have devoted their entire adult lives to their practices. I do offer 6 years experience as a researcher and program coordinator at a Medical University, and I also offer an extra 25 years in health and human services as an administrator, researcher and direct client services professional. My chief sources are you, Homo Sapiens. You are the reality that stands, sometimes nakedly, before any practitioner’s eyes. It is you who teaches, demands, and weeps when we fail you. I have experienced all from you, unforgettably.  That said….let’s open the door.  Oh! lest I forget, I acknowledge humbly, that I am just like you; I must never forget that.

This is about the science of human evolution? No, this is about all of us working to help each other realize our own potential. This is the only way that humankind can hope to move forward as a civilization on Earth and as an evolving galactic civilization. Until we can resolve our immediate difficulties, we are unfit to venture across our galaxy and beyond.

We are gifted, but too many of us have various barriers that limit our realization of who we really are and what we are capable of achieving. What I present here is a personal experience and one man’s concept of human empowerment. In that regard, I maintain each of us can be like psychosocial locksmiths that help spring open true life for our fellow humans on this planet. This is the true next step in our evolutionary journey – to the stars!

The exploration paradigm: There you are, at the door, a real-life, shape-shifting human. Today, you are very self-protective so all your shields are up. You are smiling, guardedly. You introduce yourself, as do I. We shake moist hands; that’s right I am nervous too. We sit across from each other and (a) I immediately subject you to a series of imposing, but vital questions that will tell me why you are here , or (b) I say a few words to help you relax and then say nothing; looking, with calm interest, directly at you. There is full eye-contact unless you or I look away. If I am a physician then option (a) is mandatory. If I am a psychologist of the type I always wanted to be, then option (b) puts the ball in your court – gently.

The bridge, dammit, go to the bridge!: If I am using option (a), most likely I am so busy filling in the blanks with your answers that I am missing the brief and intermittent peeks you display of the real you. If I am using option (b) and wait too long for you to open up a bit I could learn little more than your tolerance for the silent treatment. So how do we really get started on this mutual exploration? It is up to me, and if I am really interested in you then I jump to the bridge. Compassion is the bridge! Oh, oh this is dangerous ground regardless of which option I am using. I could cross the emotional boundary and trip over into a personal affiliation that blinds clinical assessments. This is true, but I know this and in the knowing I have the option to exercise the needed controls. Tough duty, but both essential and highly effective when controlled. Here are some examples of what I mean:

  • Body language and eye contact: I must loosen up, keep good eye contact, and with a sincere and open look.  I smile, really smile. When you are giving answers, I clearly show that I follow you and I silently nod and smile encouragingly.
  • If I am using option (a) I run the risk of being detoured away from getting a true personal history from you. I know it is critical to get to know you in as much time as this session will allow. So I make the questions highly relevant that encourage more openness from you. I respond to your revealing responses by directly encouraging your comments or questions. I must resist the temptation to supply my own explanations to your questions. I must seek your answers and explanations.  I show both interest and definite evidence that I care. If I am using option (b) all the above equally applies; every one of my reactions and responses can help you open up more. I cannot fake this. I must feel compassion, I must care else my false self will betray me to you.
  • Keeping the ball in play and in the right court; yours: The last thing I need to hear is an explanation of your problem or concern from ME! I am failing you if I take over, trying to read your mind and emotions, thus stifling you. Most likely you will slam shut the window to your true self leaving both of us floundering in the darkness of missed communications. You might as well excuse yourself and go home, and I need a good spanking.
  • When the tears start to fall I will suffer if I have achieved the caring and compassionate link with you. Most likely I will have the urge to cry or at least moan. If I do, I immediately steal your grief, making it mine, and breaking the link we both have worked to build. This is very hard, delicate work. I must let you know I feel your sorrow and that I want to know more about it. I need to do this warmly while I still control my own emotions. I may take your hand briefly to emphasize my compassion while I insert a soothing question, but no hugs.  Hugs are absolutely marvelous and therapeutic. If I reach out and hug you in your grief I offer an immediate relief to it, and that takes us all the way back to the start. It will be extremely difficult to start over, at least during this meeting, and possibly never again. I have given you another relief door to hide behind. Am I saying you must suffer for us to make progress? No, but in reality you will and that is part of the process of bringing out all that causes you anguish.  All the more reason not to put you in a position where that has to be unburdened again.

Well, that is all very interesting and helpful, but how can any one of us do this with one another? The details above are essentially clinical, but the basic process of establishing good communications with a friend, a spouse, an offspring, a co-worker, or a perfect stranger are there and are the essentials I advocate. Compassion, careful and helpful listening, placing the other person first, and downplaying yourself are just good human interactions – nothing clinical. If you have achieved a caring approach then you have enabled yourself to begin to help the other person discover themselves and the ways they can begin solving their own problems.

Good grief, that is time-consuming and calls for a major commitment on my part for maybe someone I really don’t know. Yes you are right, and it does take a commitment. I see the lack of these kinds of compassionate commitments between each of us for one another as the major impediment to our achieving real peace among humankind. If we continue to fail at this, then it is doubtful we will get very far in our next evolutionary journey. We will instead, just be another one of those failed galactic civilizations.  Oh yes, they are out there, and we will learn their tragic histories if we avoid our own tragic history.

Is this some kind of theological process; an organized religion of some type? No, however, most religions that are practiced here on our planet espouse and teach many of the elements we are discussing here. The difference is that we do not need to be dependent upon an organized theology for us to start and practice these powerful and helpful human interactions. If you wish to include a specific theology as part of your efforts that is fine so long as you keep your focus on the basic goal of promoting and encouraging the act of self-exploration. Like all forms of exploration, this will produce discoveries, and with your compassionate encouragement, the other person will begin to make explanations of those discoveries. When this happens they are throwing open all their windows and most importantly, they are the first to look inside.

Oh, oh, what if that person looking in his windows does not like what he or she sees? I could be blamed, even hated, for what I have helped them do to themselves. I won’t deny the risk that can be involved. It depends upon who the other person is. Obviously the perfect stranger would be someone who might react negatively. Friends and family, may initially struggle, but will come to welcome your caring compassion. You are helping them become truly alive and free. As this settles in, you should experience their gratitude, admiration, and affection. They are now gaining the strength and the confidence to begin to move forward and to explore beyond themselves which is exactly what must happen. Now, give them those hugs.

Well, I will think about it. In fact, I am thinking I could probably use some of that compassionate, caring, help myself. Exactly and now you are at the threshold of the kind of human bonding that we must carry out to reach out across the universe. We learn that selflessness in our relationships is neither weakness nor meek dependency upon others. It is exactly the opposite. We are stronger, we are confident, we can look beyond ourselves and begin to consider all that surrounds us and the exciting revelations that will offer. Our evolution becomes a happy dance of new discoveries that enrich all our lives and our future.


Cartoon image of people. Courtesy of U. S. Centers for Disease Control, via Bing.

Happy Dance cartoon, from Flutter of Hope Blog  http://bit.ly/cS8vUt

Explore posts in the same categories: Education, Humankind and Exploration, Lifeness, self-discovery, The Known, Urge to Know

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4 Comments on “UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: The exploration of us.”

  1. erobey Says:

    excellent! What a wonderful world this could be if compassion along with tolerant acceptance were common human characteristics. I like the emphasis on that aspect – that this is not something we need – or should need – to go to a medical professional or psychologist to receive.

    • XiNeutrino Says:

      Thanks for this supportive comment. As they say, we are not there yet, but if we do not keep trying we will never get there, thus the blog article.

      Thanks again,

  2. Mary Trider Says:

    It was certainly interesting for me to read that post. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I would like to read a bit more soon. BTW, pretty nice design you have at this blog, but don’t you think design should be changed from time to time?

    Mary Trider
    uk london escort

    • XiNeutrino Says:

      Thank you for your comments and yes I have considered changing the design, but I also strive for simplicity so as not to distract. I will consider your suggestion, and thank you.

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